funnyjokes

1. 1. Terrible thing happened to my mother-in-law once. She was weighing herself on the bathroom scale when she dropped her hand mirror. She had seven years of fat.
2. 2. Does my brother-in-law sleep? He's the only guy who goes through the summer with sunburned eyelids.
3. 3.Every afternoon my wife telephones long distance to her mother. She calls it, 'Keeping in Touch'. I call it, 'Dialing for Dollars'.
4. 4.I don't know how you feel about it, but I was kind of upset to hear my mother come out in favor of abortion.
5. 5.I just came up with the world's greatest room divider: My mother-in-law at a party.
6. 6.I wasn't wanted as a child. My mother used to paint a bird's-eye target on my jacket and send me off to play at the local carnival shooting gallery.
7. 7.I'll never forget the time I told my mother "I didn't ask to be born!" And my mother said "That's why we sued the birth control pill manufacturer for a defective product".
8. 8.The only running my brother-in-law does is away from bill collectors.
9. 9.Lazy? The only time my brother-in-law puts his shoulder to the wheel is when he pulls into
   
   
   a rest stop takes a nap in the front seat of his Volkswagen.
10. 10.My anxious aunt was constantly worrying about getting older. Finally my wise old Uncle Waldo told her "Quit complaining, think of the alternative: getting younger and younger, forgetting how to walk, wearing diapers, finally dying of contraceptives."